Tony Perkins was in the Navy. Insert obvious joke here.

Shorter Tony Perkins* FRC, "My Take: Ending 'don't ask, don't tell' would undermine religious liberty"

I am really, really gay. Super-de-duper-de gay. And you could tell that by a non-veiled reference in the first sentence. Oh please, someone send the military to my door to recruit me from my beard family! I wanna be in the N-a-v-y! I hate my life....

*Hatist-Supreme for the Family Research Council. Which, ironically, cares not one iota for families, research nor counsel.