Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Reagan's a Kenyan Marxist Sissie

Actual Quotes from Ronald "Evil" Reagan (or, Reagan Re-Fox'd):

Karl Marx was right... We are witnessing today a great revolutionary crisis – a crisis where the demands of the economic order are colliding directly with those of the political order...
The years ahead will be great ones for our country, for the cause of freedom and the spread of civilization. The West will not contain Communism, it will transcend... human history
Socialism... works in... Heaven

Let's... go overboard in setting and enforcing tough emission standards.

Sabotaging America:
We are trying to get unemployment to go up.
I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.
I intend to go right on appointing... individuals who understand... disenfranchising the people through judicial activism.
Freedom is the right to question and change the established way of doing things.

His career:
What does an actor know about politics?

Anti-War and Nukes:
I call upon the scientific community in our country, those who gave us nuclear weapons, to turn their great talents now to the cause of mankind and world peace: to give us the means of rendering these nuclear weapons impotent and obsolete.
I don't believe in protect[ion].
History teaches that wars begin when governments believe the price of aggression is cheap.
No arsenal!
A nuclear power plant can be stored under a desk.
There's purpose and worth to each and every life.
Cannot swords be turned to plowshares? Can we and all nations not live in peace?
The defense policy of the United States is based on a simple premise: The United States does not start fights. We will never be an aggressor.

We... have a trillion-dollar debt because we haven't taxed enough.
I have only one thing to say to the tax increasers: Go ahead... If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.

Atheist intent:
Without God.

We will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children... facts are stupid.
Everyone... is for abortion
We need your youth.

And, finally:
I'm from the government, and I'm here to help.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Resisting Americans II: The Seated Fury Continues

"Is your dog on welfare?"
- What??

"This is one of them girlie men."
- I like girlie men. They go well with manly girls.

"I'd just like for everybody to have affordable health care."
"No, but what you see British is doing, their medical care, it don't work, man."
- I know some British who'd beg to differ, I say young chap.

- I agree with the lady about Cap'n'Trade. It is a hoax. Unlike, say, global warming. But much like the idea that Obama is deliberately destroying the economy.

"We've lost honor several years back. Problem with the inception of... social security."
- Yes, I know. Inception of Social Security. That movie confused me too... Did you see the part where the elderly man with his walker flies his balloon-lifted house up to a zeppelin to rescue the little Asian boy... Wait, that was Up. Sorry.

"United we stand and divided we fall."
- And lawn chair we sit until we tipsy.

"There are rappers who say the word "n****r." If I went to Chicago and said the word "n****r" I would get shot. Because I'm (points to nose) not black. How'd that happen?"
- Well, there once was a word used to denote, then define and subjugate black people based on negative stereotypes of them held by the white power structure. That word was further used to dehumanize its objects and as a means of predatory violence against them (the word often being used in the context of a threatened or immediate lynching). After the Civil Rights Movement and at the beginning of the Afro-centric movements, black people began to own that word in order to rob it of its racist power, to subvert it of its historical and damaging power. But that only happens as the historical object uses it within the context of other shared historical objects. When the purveyor of the term (read: white people) use the term, it goes back to its former usage - that of subjugation, exploitation and violence against the black man or woman done by white people.
Does that satisfy your curiosity? If not, you can always do some more reading on it, because it's obvious you don't talk to real live black people...

"You sure they call you "racist" because you criticize Obama? Not because you say the 'N' word?"
"I've been pretty good about not saying the 'N' word on tv, until now... 99% of the time I don't use it."
"It's that other 1% that gets you in trouble."
"...It's the double standard..."
- It's not a double standard just because you so desperately want to call every black person around you a 'n****r'. That's just you being a racist idiot.

"I am an American citizen... We are allowed to have our rights. Nobody can stand and tell us that we believe is wrong..."
- My head just exploded. But maybe she didn't mean it that way. Maybe there's still hope that she was just misunderstood. Maybe, just maybe.
"They are stepping on my toes... by infringing on my rights to speak as I will, as I believe... When I can't stand or sit here and tell you about Jesus Christ and how he died for your sins, and somebody comes up to me and tells me that I'm wrong and that God doesn't exist... that's when they start infringing on my rights."
- *click* goodbye - BOOM!

Monday, September 6, 2010

Standing Next to the Black Guy

I really wish we had a conversation with the Beckpaloozer group standing next to the Black Guy at 1:53 on in this video here*.

I imagine it would sound something like (*stroking double chin*) this:

"See? We are standing next to a Black Guy and even willing to take pictures with him. Thus, by proximity to a Black Guy, we show that we aren't like those real racists who've never, ever been NEAR a Black Guy before."
"No. It takes a real not-racist person to stand next to a Black Guy like he's not diseased or something and not look him in the eye."
"I'll tell you what. Afterwards, I didn't even check my wallet."
"Ihat's right. I noticed that. Good job."
"I wanted to, but I didn't... Oh, still there."
"See? Ain't racist at all."

*A group of about four (if memory serves) white men are standing shoulder-to-shoulder on either end of The Black Guy, two of whom on either wing holding up signs that ask, "Do I look racist?**" while two women are taking pictures like tourists (apparently, when it comes to interaction/sightings of Black Guys, this is the Ninth Wonder of the World).
**Don't need to answer that question, by the way...

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Resisting Americans

- Or -
I Can Haz Dreemz? LOL!

"We wanna... show the people: We're not crackpots."
- Lady wearing US Flag button down

‎"The last bastion of hope."
There are no other free democracies in the world. this is it! omgb!!!11ty!!!
- "You don't consider Canada a bastion of hope?"
"No. You're not listening. This is it. This is the last bastion of hope. [ad infinitum]"
Repeating it makes it truey.

Al Sharpton owns the Black Panthers? Why didn't anybody tell me this??

‎[On Beck calling Obama a racist with deep-seated hatred for white people] "Glenn Beck would never say something disrespectful to the president."
They're not real fans...

"If I heard that, I'd agree with him [Beck. As he hadn't heard Beck say that about Obama]. Well, he is a bit of a racist, and a bit of an elitist."
Way to think for yourselfs!

"If he's gonna take the time to write all this stuff down, and put it into historical record, then something's wrong."
Alternate: BHO's dad hated white men, which is why he had sex with a white woman and Obama took the time to write about his dad, who is black, which means that Obama hates White people IT'S SO OBVIOUS!!

"And I am an American and I have freedom of speech."
But you just don't know what to do with it. That's okay, you continue sitting in your awned lawn chair and practicing it, you'll get it soon.

T-shirt sighting: "I'm the extremist Homeland Security warned you about."
We'll put you on the first flight to UAE right away, sir!

T-shirt sighting no 2: Protecting white cracker babies.
Well, I'm glad somebody finally is! Lord knows we don't our fair share of Amber Alerts.

"Do you want to be slapped in the face like that?"
Careful what you ask for in this crowd...

"Muslims are sticking a thumb in our eye and saying, 'There! What are you gonna do about it?'"
Dang those Muslims and their Islamic thumbs!

"By taking down those towers, they showed that they had victory over America and over the Devil of the West."
But we'll show them who's the Devil!

"I learned all I needed to learn about Islam on 9/11."
So did this guy!

[On immigration] "It's a health risk. On Ellis Island... they went through a screening. We have no idea, no idea, what's... how safety of our general population."
Your tired, your poor, your teeming masses of malaria to the triage area, please...

And finally, the coup de tat:
"All I know is what my sister told me. And she lives in Arizona. And she says she has seen women waiting in parking lots. Pregnant women waiting in hospital parking lots. Just to have their babies. And that's sad."
Not as sad as that lawn chair...
- "But wouldn't there be pregnant women waiting in hospital parking lots to have their babies even if they were legal."
"But that's different. 'Cuz they're legal."
Has absolutely NOTHING to do with faulty insurance rules that kick moms out after two days...